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'Orace's 'Oliday (the sequel to "Orace Goes Fishing") c1995 Martin Pickering Enjoy! :o)   By now 'Orace needed an 'oliday So he booked him a flight to Crete His Dad and his Mam both cried out "lad, nay, There's bad water and flies and the heat!" His sister came in at that moment (The one with a face like a cow) "We need you to poison the rodents So you surely won't be leaving us now?" But 'Orace retorted "I will be!" And went and got dressed up real neat With a white jacket, shirt and a trilby And shiny brown boots on his feet His Mam laid out undies and shirts f'r him Spare socks and six ties on his bed Some cheese and some spam and fresh dripping It was factor ten cream for his head "You'd best put it on before leaving We don't want your pate to get burned" He was not very sure of her meaning So she spun him and greased while he turned As he reached for the door his Mam kissed him He went red in the face and bent down He thought he saw something was glistening In his turn-up he found half a crown "That won't be much good where you're going They use something that they call a drakmer" She was doing her best to delay him But all she got back was his laughter   "It'll do fer me bus fare t't' airport" He muttered to no-one particler He felt fairly proud of that retort Now maybe her conscience would prick her   His boots were too big and he stumbled But he ran and was trying his best Then he tripped in the hedge and he tumbled And rammed his head into a nest   He ran back up the path to the front door An ugly black wig on his head "Mam quick I think I need a doctor!" His Dad said "'e's back, where's me bread?"   His mother approached quite judicious "Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs!" As she got closer it became obvious It was twigs on his head - not hairs   Now the neighbours had heard some strange noises And came round to see what it could be Just as 'Orace and Mam raised their voices And began a wild dance round the tree   "Don't touch it it hurts when you do that!" Said 'Orace who was scared as a mouse "Well it looks like a juniper bush hat And I won't have it inside my house!"   Then his Dad appeared in the front door way And shouted "where's my blooming tea?" Mam replied "You can just have it your way I'll cut t' bread while you sort out He!"   Sister Betty came out with a blow lamp Dad lit it and said "What a girl! It'll melt t' dripping off ower young chap Loosening t'nest - let's give it a whirl!"   But 'Orace had heard enough banter And sidled away, casual He broke out into a canter And headed off towards the canal   It seemed the whole town was a following They thought he was mad as a hatter And they screamed with delight and a hollering As he hurled himself into the watter Copyright ©2006 SatCure Updated August 2, 2010 This file may be downloaded for private and personal use but NO part of it may be published in any form without the prior permission of the author.